System of a Down – 25 Years of Toxicity!

Howdy ya’ll! (Ew – I might be born and raised around Nashville, but, guys, that ain’t how I talk! *wink LOL) Your forever-trying-her-best Gemini here – one day before the Fall Equinox! – to share a bit of a love letter to one of the first Metal bands I ever discovered – one of the first bands to significantly influence the trajectory of my music-life forever: System of a Down! 

The guys recently celebrated 25 years of their biggest album to date: Toxicity. Congratulations, SOAD! As a long-time fan, this is definitely a big milestone to celebrate – although Toxicity isn’t necessarily my favorite album. For me, it’s SOAD’s first ever self-titled album. “I SIT, IN MY DESOLATE ROOM, NO LIGHTS, NO MUSIC – JUST ANGER” – if you know, you know LOL 

System of a Down found their way into my life when I was around 13 years old. Before then, the music I consumed consisted of whoever was playing on the radio, the oldies my parents would put on the home stereo system (mostly Motown and Classic Rock), and then sometimes the bands my sister would blare from her room (lotttttta Linkin Park; she was 16 and angsty LOL). I hone stly can’t recall how I even came across an SOAD CD, but I can remember Toxicity in my CD tower. The first time I loaded it into my boombox and pressed play … man … little 13-year-old Stacy had no idea how much her life was going to change that day haha

Photo from SOAD’s Twitter

It was like nothing I had ever heard before. It blew my newly teenaged brain right out of my skull. The music moved me in ways I hadn’t experienced yet; there was this emotion in the music and lyrics I didn’t even know existed at that point in life – or, really, that I wasn’t really “allowed” to experience. I have a good relationship with my parents, but they are Boomers, and any of us who have Boomer-parents know that emotional expression wasn’t exactly encouraged – not outwardly, at least. My sister and I were constantly reminded to “watch our tone” and told we were being “too dramatic.” I look back now and realize that, sure, maybe we were a little dramatic at times, but a lot of the time we were just trying to learn how to express and regulate our emotions. There’s no one to blame, really – although we could just say society as a whole is to blame? – since each generation suffers without something (or many things), which lead to certain needs not being met and each next generation striving to provide it. It’s a funny cycle, but, hey, we’re all trying our best!

My sister went through the angst phase first and paved the path for Alt music in our house. My parents didn’t understand … but that was to be expected. Not to beat a dead horse, but they were just born and raised in a different time, with different priorities and overcompensations to deal with themselves. They mostly entertained our music choices, though – thankfully – aside from extremely explicit lyrics, which was tough for my sister when she went through her “only rap” phase LOL I suppose you could say it was because of my sister’s courage that I felt okay to explore music, but my parents weren’t prepared for me to introduce Metal to the household LOL They REALLY didn’t understand my pull toward Metal music (still don’t, really) LOL But I forged ahead regardless of how anyone felt. Metal music made me feel alive in a way I had never realized was possible! First, it was SOAD, then I started down other rabbit holes with bands like As I Lay Dying, Imperial, Underoath, Showbread … Dr. Acula. (God – please tell me SOMEONE reading this knows that band! LOL)

SOAD came into my life at the perfect time, though. I was going through all your usual raging teenage hormones but also a TON of grief and confusion. I wasn’t raised in a religious home, but I believed in whatever “God” I heard referenced – or – I believed I believed LOL When I endured my first big losses (death) – a childhood friend dying of cancer and, shortly after that, my best friend at the time losing her mom (in a way, a second mom to me) to suicide – I started questioning who this “God” fella/person/thing was, what happened after we died, the meaning of life … Very heavy shit for a 13 year old to be pondering, friends. But I also know I’m not alone in these experiences, and at any point in life, they are challenging topics to experience.

SOAD was one of the bands that helped me process my more complicated emotions – particularly their song “Chop Suey”:

Father, into your hands I commend my spirit
Father, into your hands
Why have you forsaken me?
In your eyes forsaken me
In your thoughts forsaken me
In your heart forsaken me …

These lyrics rocked me. Being a kid, it didn’t dawn on me that anyone else could have possibly ever felt what I was feeling during that period of life – of course LOL SOAD’s music made my grief-anger feel so seen and understood. Much later in life, I heard how these lyrics came to be was by the album’s producer, Rick Rubin, encouraging Serj to grab a random book off the shelf, find a random line, and build lyrics from that. How crazy is it that a random suggestion and chance turned into some of the most affecting lyrics for so many people.

I had the absolute fucking pleasure of seeing SOAD live in Chicago last year – something I never thought I’d get to do. To say it was a monumental moment would be an understatement. I bought tickets months in advance, anticipated the show for almost half a year, planned a weekend trip with my husband to see one of my best friends and her family, who live just outside of Chicago … it was all shaping up to be the highlight of 2025 for me. That was until my family found out our oldest (and arguably the most precious) cat, Scooner, was nearing the end of his life. Shortly after his sixteenth birthday, and the day before we were meant to begin the road trip to Chicago for what was supposed to be the best weekend of the year, my mom and I had to say goodbye to our precious Poon. As I type this out, tears still come to my eyes. To anyone who’s had to say goodbye to a pet, no matter if they’ve lived a long, happy life, you know the heartbreak. It’s horrible but also one of the greatest honors in this life – to get to love animals as much as me and my family do.

When Scooner was gone, I thought to myself: “What a cruel joke … right before the one thing I’ve been looking forward to all year.” Thinking back now, I feel it was kismet in a way – albeit weird and rather morbid. SOAD initially came into my life during a period of deep grieving, and the first time I got to see them in person, I found myself in that similar place yet again.

In true SOAD fashion, however, the show provided me the safe space to process through it. I danced, sang my heart out, and let the tears come when they needed to. This was actually one of the first times in a long time (maybe ever?) that I allowed myself to fully let go at a concert. A big part of my current path is rediscovering self-expression – particularly around being seen, my voice, and speaking my truth – and also not giving a fuck what anyone around me might think when they witness me in practice of these gifts. Because, friends, self-expression, in all the forms available to us, is a gift – and too many of us choose (consciously or not) to not fully embrace it. 

The height of my self-expression happened during ‘Chop Suey’ – of course. I screamed the lyrics into the air – watched them soar away from me and merge with the release from everyone else – the thousands of other people there processing what they were needing to in the moment, as well – and, ultimately, my grief felt a bit lighter. 

SOAD has MANY fun songs – “Suite-Pee”, “Sugar”, “Bounce”, “DDevil” to name a few – but many of their songs hold a deeper meaning for me. Their music has served as a sacred friend at times – holding me when I didn’t know I needed to be held, offering me a safe space to process the anger and heartbreak of my grief when I didn’t feel I had anywhere for that … Little 13-year-old Stacy had no idea when she first picked up that CD – but Toxicity and System of a Down found me at one of the most transformative times in my life and unintentionally aided in transforming me into the person I am today.

So, to Serj, Daron, Shavo, and John – from the bottom of my heart (and all the other SOADers out there): Thank you so much for putting your music out into The Universe. Thank you for taking the risks to sing about the shit people often bury or turn their heads from. Your self-expression – and the courage behind it – has been an inspiration for me for 20+ years – and continues to be to this day.

Happy 25th Toxicity Anniversary, SOAD! To put it simply: we SOADers love you s’much!

Until next time, sweet Children of the Stars ~

Photo from SOAD Instagram: Concert in Düsseldorf – Photo by Clemente Ruiz